Alien vs. Predator: The Ultimate Sci-Fi Grudge Match

Who Thought This  Was a Good Idea?

Somehow, in the depths of Hollywood, at one point, someone  pondered: “What if the best space predator met… another space predator of similar calibre?” And  so, Alien vs. Predator (AVP for the cool kids) was conceived – the confrontation between  two of the most lethal extraterrestrials to have appeared in films.

It’s got  everything: A menace in the form of aliens, a predator that is nearly invisible, ancient pyramids,  and enough inconsistencies to make a Xenomorph weep acidically. However, we didn’t come  seeking explanations. We came to watch two terrifying creatures fight each other to the  finish.

So get some popcorn (and perhaps a facehugger-inspired helmet), and we’ll  look at the strange and bizarre Alien vs. Predator universe!

 Xenomorphs: The Horror Movie Nightmares

First, there are the  Xenomorphs, otherwise known as “Nope! Get out! Get out!” in alien language.  These living weapons from the Alien franchise are a nightmare. They do not simply kill you and dump your  body; they choose to use you as a temporary womb for their frightening young. Adorable!

 Strengths:

• Unstoppable killing machines – Once they are set free, you are doomed.

  • Acid blood – You stand a chance of melting should you decide to pierve  one of them.

• Facehuggers – Who doesn’t love an alien’s gentle  face-pat and hug?

• No chill whatsoever. They just  attack. There is no plan, no plan, just plain violence.

• Fire = Bad.  If you set an xeno on fire, then it’s time for it to become an  xeno- BBQ.

• Cannot see you if you stand perfectly still. (Okay, that is  Jurassic Park, but still, worth a try.)

On  the other side, there are the Predators, or better known as, “Interplanetary butchers  who take playing the part too far.” These people live for the thrill of the hunt, and to  achieve that they use all sorts of high-tech gear to locate, follow and then collect the prey’s  heads. It is as if a space viking and a ninja had a child, and that child  was very aggressive.

• Stealth mode – They can turn invisible. This  is not right.

• Claws on the wrist, shoulders, and other science fiction items  – They are a walking armory.

• Code of honour – They will not kill you if  you are weaponless… which is wonderful until you remember you are still able to move your arms.

 Weaknesses:

• Ego the size of a spaceship. They love a good fight no  matter if they are supposed to wipe out the whole world.

•They tend to choose the worst  locations to hunt. I mean, jungles? Ice caves? Ancient alien pyramids? Just go  to the beach, my dude.

Here’s the setup:  A group of humans who evidently have no escape chute from a danger situation come across a long-lost  pyramid in Antarctica. Of course, they want to explore it since horror movies have not taught us anything.

 Surprise! The pyramid is actually a very old structure which is used by the Predators to  train by fighting Xenomorphs. And guess what? The humans just walked right into the middle  of it.

Then there are the explosions, a lot of screaming and chaos. The  Xenomorphs escape, the Predators start hunting and the humans are just there to become extra bodies.

But  let’s be honest—none of us are sitting here to watch the humans. We are here for  one thing: the final battle.

In the final scene of  the first AVP film, the Predator escapes but, oh dear! He has a Xenomorph  embryo developing inside him. So, in essence, nobody claims victory. The audience, however, is  the real winner because that was entertaining to watch.

  • One on one, predator has the upper hand. They have weapons, they have a plan and they  have brains.

• In large numbers, Xenomorphs win. They discomfit,  infest and generally make life very unpleasant for anything that crosses their path.

• If humans are  involved, then humans lose. Always. Seriously, we never win in these things.

So in the  end, the real winner is whoever makes it out alive which, let’s be honest, is never really  anyone.

 What About an Alien Abduction?  

Now, here’s a question no one is asking:  What if as opposed to hunting each other, a Xenomorph or a Predator was abducted by a  conventional UFO?  Some little grey aliens hovering above, thinking they’ve just grabbed another human test subject  — only to realise they’ve beamed up an acid spitting, skull collecting nightmare. I can  pretty confidently say that is one spaceship which won’t be making it back to its home planet.  

Maybe they should’ve invested in an Alien Abduction Lamp instead – so much safer than accidentally kidnapping a  predator with a shoulder cannon.

 

 Final Thoughts: Is Alien vs. Predator Worth Watching?  

Oh, absolutely. It’s dumb, it’s chaotic, and it’s all that you would expect from  a film of two horror icons engaging in a battle.  Should you go in expecting  deep storytelling and logic? Nope. But shouldn’t you sit back, grab some snacks, and enjoy  watching aliens and predators go at it? 100%.  And if you ever find yourself in an  ancient underground pyramid and see signs of alien warfare, here’s some advice: RUN. Or at the  very least, bring a predator sized can of bug spray.

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