The ISS astronauts Sunni Williams and Butch Wilmore returned to Earth from their Boeing Starliner space mission after being in orbit for a few days longer than expected.
The view was certainly out of this world, but the return trip? Not so kind on their muscles.
Bob Can’t Turn His Neck, and Sunni’s Back is Rebooting
The two astronauts who spent months in space reported several problems when they got back to Earth.
Butch "Bob" Wilmore found it difficult to turn his neck to his left.
When Sunni Williams woke up she was extremely tired because her back muscles were feeling like they had not been used in a long time.
But there’s a twist: she’s now waking up at 4 a.m., a sure sign her body is recalibrating. Her internal clock is getting sharper. Her spinal muscles are saying, “Oh… this again.”
Glarnok’s Response:
“Oh no! Gravity? Muscles? Sleep schedules? Welcome back to Primitive Planet Problems.
Your species has not been able to solve the problem of floating in space and sleeping in until 10 a.m. I do not know how your species has made it this far.
You know what we call Earth’s gravitational pull on Planet Grimbulon? ‘A design flaw.’
The species that has not been able to learn how to float and sleep until 10 a.m. must be in trouble.”
Moozart’s Take:
“Poor Sunni. She came back to find her entire skeleton filing a complaint.
Back in the barn, we did not use the word “readjusting” we said “Monday.”
Still, she’s getting better, which is good. But I suggest yoga. Or cow pose. Or just being abducted again and avoiding gravity altogether. Worked wonders for me.”
A Note from the Lamp
We at Alien Abduction Lamp HQ, fully endorse a zero-gravity lifestyle.
Not just because it's great for the lumbar… but because it reminds us that:
🔹 Despite being little meatbags, humans are still trying to figure out how to survive in space.
🔹 Space is hard. Returning is harder.
🔹 And Glarnok still refuses to sit in anything with "ergonomic" in the name.
Still Earthbound? Here's a Tip:
One thing is certain: a warm lamp and a mildly terrifying alien lightbeam can be good for your mood whether your back is readapting or your sleep is out of sync.
So go on. Turn on the lamp. Beam up your evening.
No astronaut training required.
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Explore our related blog here:
NASA Astronauts v.s. Gravity: A Battle Older Than Spaceflight
