alien abduction lamp

Free the Locked In Alien: Why Our Lamp Is the Perfect Portal to Let the Weird Out

It  started as a meme. A trapped alien dwells inside your mind where it continually pleads to break  free. TikTok users interrupt their conversations with break in dance performances and Instagram users  share posts with wide-open eyes at 3 AM captioned “the alien in me when I hear a microwave beep.”

 It exists beyond a mere joke. Is the alien inside you actually locked in or merely waiting for  the right signal to escape?

 The Original Alien Abduction Lamp

Our UFO desk lamp  creates an extraterrestrial capture effect instead of basic illumination for your room. The first time you activate  the switch it sends forth absolute alien power. That glowing tractor beam? The alien inside you needs this  outlet to escape. That part of you which cannot be confined to numerical data or daytime work environment.  The aspect of your nature which embraces intergalactic disorder and luminous nighttime visions as well as  saucer-shaped spacecraft with fashionable interior styles.

Signs You’ve Got a Locked-In Alien:

1.  You address your plant collection with extraterrestrial dialogue.

2. You maintain that breakfast cereals reach  their maximum flavour point exactly at 2:47 AM.

3. You’ve given your robotic vacuum  the name of Roomba while asking it to serve as your flying partner.

4. The Area  51 memes sometimes seem too accurate, taking into account your personal experiences.

It’s okay. You’re not alone.  You have the freedom to remain imprisoned or seek freedom at any time.

Moozart and  Glarnok: A Case Study in Cosmic Containment

Moozart the Cow possesses a philosophical  nature alongside a strange number of crop circles in her property. She experienced unexplainable movements within her  body for many years. Glarnok emerged as a cosmic alien who was secretly using Moozart as a biological airbnb since 1998.

Moozart encountered the Original Alien  Abduction Lamp as she walked past it and was enamoured by the glow of the beam. And out popped Glarnok, the moment  Moozart stepped into the beam. It was like a disco ball of conspiracy theories appeared. Moozart  was stunned. Glarnok was thrilled. Since the day they met everything has become increasingly abnormal.

 Since their meeting Moozart and Glarnok lead separate lives while working together from time to  time. Moozart maintains her gaze toward the sky. Glarnok offers  glow-in-the-dark socks to other beings from different dimensions. They both agree that the lamp brought them the  best fortune in their lives.

Set The Locked In Alien Free

The Original Alien Abduction Lamp functions as  an interdimensional signal transmitter rather than just a decorative item. Plug it in. Turn it  on. The beam shines for your inner strange self to experience. During gaming sessions or reading activities or  interstellar mixtape planning the lamp delivers this message to you: “You’re safe here. Be  strange. Beam proud.”

When you stop concealing your alien essence you begin to draw motherships toward  you.

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